Should I tell my ex-boyfriend that I am getting married?

Question: Hi, I had a ten-year-old relationship and I broke-up with my ex-partner due to irreconcilable reasons. He tried contacting me post break-up but I never talked to him. It has been four months to our break up, and now I am getting married in October this year. I think 

he has still not moved on. Should I tell him about my marriage? What if he tries to create an issue once I am married? Or should I keep quiet and go ahead? I am really confused. I have not even posted anything on social media because of this dilemma. Please help! —By Anonymous

Response by Ms. Anuja Shah: I would first like to congratulate you on your engagement. I wish you all the very best, and hope that you both make a compatible couple.

I understand the confusion and conflict in your mind. I also see your genuine concern for your ex-boyfriend. This is natural; you had a really long relationship. While you have a concern for 

him, you are also apprehensive about his reaction on your new relationship.

I feel you can tell him to stop calling you since you are getting married and starting a new life. But before that you need to let your fiancé know about your past relationship. This will help to take away the anxiety related to your ex-boyfriend’s reaction post or pre-marriage. Let your 

fiancé know the important details and gain his trust. If you don’t confess this to him, you will always live in this fear of ruining your married life. Let this new relationship be built on trust and mutual respect.

I am glad that you could see strong incompatibilities in your past relationship and that was the 

reason for your break-up. You appear to be someone who sticks to his/her decision. You never spoke to your ex after the break-up, despite it being such a long relation. I respect your determination and ability to manage your emotions.